beauty: what will we tell our daughters?

How to feel brave, strong & sexy as a woman at any age.

One weekend three of us are standing in the bathroom of a spa resort looking into the mirror. We have all reached the juncture of 40. One pulls her dress over her curvy body and looks and her breasts, picking them up with both hands saying “Maybe I should get a boob job”.

The following weekend a couple of friends visit the island. One of them is turning 40. I take them shopping for Spanish sandals at local artisanal stores and watch as the two of them bond over self-depreciation.

At every mirror or reflection, they offer comments about how ugly or old they now look. One of them is so maxed out on Botox that it distorts the skin on her eyelids.

It is painful to witness.

The violence of rejecting oneself, one’s life, and the organic process of growing older.

The memories made that etched lines into skin and a lifetime of living that allowed gravity to take hold and claim parts of our bodies should be celebrated.

What kind of examples are we setting? What will we tell our daughters about the passing of time?

I am one of those daughters.

I yearn to be surrounded by women who own their ageing beauty. Who hold mirrors to their wrinkles and bless their faces with joy and pleasure. I yearn to be with women who have heads of long grey or white hair and youthful laughter. I yearn to see women be playful with their blooming, changing bodies that soften and strengthen with age. I yearn for women who show me that ageing is a gracious grateful thing. I yearn for their sage-ful advice accompanied by soulful hooded eyes and soft crepey hands.

I want to be shown that every sign of maturity is wisdom unlocked and love felt and challenges overcome. I want to be surrounded by women who delightedly reveal to me what I have to look forward to.