do you need that?
There are 7 billion people on planet Earth. Seven billion ways to enjoy each other, to connect to spirit, to see colours, to succeed in life, to be happy.
13 years ago, I went to India by myself, for the very first time.
I packed a bag, filled it with what I thought I needed most: clothes, shoes, a couple of books, a notepad and journal, and my laptop, kissed my boyfriend goodbye and boarded a 9-hour flight to Delhi.
I started in Goa — to soften the culture shock — where I spent three weeks acclimating, naval gazing and pondering the life I had lived so far.
Then I wandered around the steaming backwaters of Kerala, climbed the tea plantations in Tamil Nadu, sat in meditation on the ancient ruins of Hampi (still one of my most precious memories of my entire life) in Karnataka, and did a 10-day silent retreat.
Two months passed.
Every day, I carried my bag of things from train to bus to hotel to yard to street to car etc. Across those two months, I noticed something unexpected.
I did not use most of the things I thought I would need.
Then I spent a week with two sisters who were famous wedding dress designers in Delhi. They let me stay in their apartment in a gated community and showed me India from their perspective. The world has as many faces as it has people.
There are 7 billion people on planet Earth. Seven billion ways to live, to love, to work, to create, to exist.
I asked them if I could leave the bag I was travelling with, with them, and they generously agreed. I wanted to try an experiment. I went through my things and with each item, I asked myself…
Do I need that?
I ended up with a large handpainted sheet and a light sarong I had bought from a street seller, a cashmere blanket shawl, a handful of cosmetics: toothbrush and paste, a mini shampoo and conditioner in one, a face oil, some coconut oil for dry skin, a kohl pencil and mascara I had bought in a tiny shop crammed with too many things. Plus the five outfits I was wearing on repeat, seven knickers and a couple of bras, one pair of shoes, one book, my journal and a pen.
No phone.
Back then Nokia phones were still the mainstay and I had unintentionally left mine at the Vipassana centre in an ethereal trance after calling my boyfriend to tell him I no longer wanted to be together.
Everything fitted into a school backpack I had picked up at a market a few days ago.
I kept a small woven handbag with my purse, water bottle and snacks to the side.
On the day I left for Rishikesh, I lifted my much smaller bag on my back, feeling light and unencumbered and said goodbye to the sisters.
For the next two months, I travelled north India with only those things.
They were the happiest two months of my life.
I had everything.
I needed nothing.
There was no fear of loss because I had nothing to lose.
Whenever I am unhappy now, I ask myself…
Do I need that?
And let go of anything excess.
I also ask myself…
Do I have to?
Is it actually true?
Could there be another way?
What would happen if I just… stopped?
And act on the answers to shift my trajectory back to happiness.
There are 7 billion people on planet Earth. Seven billion ways to enjoy each other, to connect to spirit, to see colours, to succeed in life, to be happy.
The key, I think, is to keep asking these kinds of questions.
To stay awake and curious, not complacent. It’s so easy to get lulled into the undertow of “what everybody else is doing.” (And what everybody else is “feeling” and “insisting” and “offering” and “saying.”)
What about you?
Is it true?
Do you have to?
Do you need that?
Could there be another way?
There usually is, if we open our eyes and minds to the possibility.
There are 7 billion people on planet Earth. Seven billion ways to make money, to root yourself in nature, to move your body, to receive love, to market yourself, to be.
You get to choose how you do it. And maybe show others the options they have for themselves.
Love,
Vienda
P.S. Enrolment for The Mentor Training closes in exactly one week, on Tuesday 31st.
Fun fact: most people who call themselves coaches are actually mentors! Here’s why.
With The Mentor Training mentoring becomes a professional paid service, that is IICT-accredited for holistic practitioners, alternative therapies and leaders with unique and non-conventional skill sets and values who want an intuitive and practical framework to hold space for, lead and guide others.
Enrol here, or book a final chat for me to answer all your questions this Thursday.
P.P.S. A reminder:
For all of us, our life is rooted in the principle that whatever hurts other people hurts us; that injustices experienced by others are also injustices experienced by us.
None of us can truly be free and fulfilled unless we work toward the goal of ensuring everyone is free and fulfilled.
These are not vague abstract ideals. They’re the central source of our soul's code and how we organise our beliefs, emotions, and actions.