I've never had a 1-night stand...

despite my attempts. 3 times, I tried. Here are those (hilarious) stories... and also why I choose to be intimate with men in a very intentional way.

If you prefer, listen to the 10-minute audio recording of this story here.

When I was 29 I exited a long-term relationship with a very sweet man. Staying would have meant me settling, a sentiment that is unacceptable to me. Throughout the relationship, the sex was awful. He just… I won’t go into details but it was unsatisfying, to say the least.

I was young, free and sexy and yearned for a sexual revolution to make up for four years of truly subordinate sex. What could be more experimental and liberating than a few innocent one-night stands?

The first I met at a friend’s house party. He was the cousin of her housemate, a c list celebrity footballer (soccer) with a kind face and a hot body. The perfect candidate. As I left the party he asked for my number and asked me out on a date a few days later.

The date started at lunch and extended into dinner then clubbing then my tiny studio apartment. He laid back on my bed as I slowly began to undress for him. By the time I made it down to my lacy panties, I’d straddled him, kissing, peeling his shirt off his back to reveal the body of an athlete.

Minutes later he was sitting on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands. I don’t really know what happened but… he turned away from me with shame, and then ended up curling up on the bed with his back to me and falling asleep.