kismet kazimi

= the fate of existing at the heart of life

I veered into this year swallowed by a deep, unexplainable, wordless, silent grief.

This morning I woke to a grey marine layer drifting off the Mediterranean, not unlike the ones I woke up to on the first days of mid-October last year. Back then I was sequestered into a hotel room 10 minutes drive away from the apartment that I found several weeks later and now call home.

While I still cannot define what dark underworld I moved through between October 2021 and April 2022, what I can determine is that the woman who arrived on a little island in the med that had called her name for 6 months prior is very different to the woman who is typing these words, splayed out on her sofa, today.

A maturation occurred.

First I decayed and then I ripened into a woman I had not known before.

Growth and healing are inseparable parts of a continuum, both reaching for wholeness, intertwined like DNA strands. Just as expansion is preceded by contraction, growth is preceded by healing.