From my notes app:
one of the things that became really clear to me last year when my life completely blew up and I experienced deeply painful amounts of loss and grief…
was how far away from my central line I had let my life move. I had lost sight of who I am at my essence what I need to thrive and let myself get swept away by the world in a way that no longer felt coherent or meaningful to me
it was like the loss of all these external markers in my life highlighted a far greater loss. the loss of my deep trust, belief in, and devotion to myself.
which was far more painful to come to terms with. and so I did a few things:
I fully let my life fall apart in whatever ways it needed to. I stopped putting my time and energy into places and people that didn’t feel like they were able to meet me in my deep loss, grief and pain. And I focused on my physical wellbeing. I knew that my mind was only as resilient as my body and my body was so fragile and depleted that there was no way I could start rebuilding without taking care of the physical foundations first.
And then… only more recently, in the last few weeks, have I been able to start reimagining what kind of life is the truest experience and expression of my essence.
This process requires tremendous patience. And kindness. As well as mental discipline. The discipline of being the observer of thoughts, beliefs, and patterns that are a repeat of my old life, and intentionally choosing new thoughts, beliefs, and pragmatic ways of responding that start to build the new life.
Thank you for being here. It's so lovely to see this community grow.
Lots of love,
Vienda 𓂃 𓈒𓏸 𓇼
