I’m sitting in my kitchen right now, sipping hot chocolate before starting work in about half an hour, and I’m so glad I took the time to read your piece this morning. About a year ago, I made a big decision, and looking back I can see that my main motivation was a longing for certainty. Which is completely human, isn’t it? But I also feel that it’s not reason enough — that’s why I’m considering a different path now, one that feels less certain. But certainty is an illusion anyway, isn’t it? Reading your words reminded me of that, and once more I feel deeply inspired by the way you live your life.
your story feels so familiar and while I can’t say that I don’t miss feeling the comfort of certainty I do forget the aliveness and wholeness that comes from trusting the void. thank you for sharing your beautiful words.
"[…] The stable, predictable career paths of our parents and grandparents that promised safety and security are dissolving. The world now demands agility, responsiveness, and creativity. It’s an exciting opportunity. […] The cost is that it requires a willingness to linger in the discomfort of uncertainty, sometimes for long stretches of time."
Another proficiency that must be learnt — another "cost" — for those who grew up in earlier times is the ability to *unlearn* skills that have become unnecessary.
This ability to forget is not an easy one for a lot of people to embrace, including me.
You make such a strong point Patrick. It’s true and certainly not easy. I feel like “crowding out” the old skills or ways with new ones might be the easiest solution. So it’s less about forgetting but filling the space with so much new fun exciting goodness that it becomes insignificant.
(I was also tempted to add that living with uncertainty does increase our cortisol titration but I didn't want to be overly negative when you had made such a good point. Perhaps a good compromise would be to retreat into routine, occasionally, to recharge and refresh ourselves, lest we burn out. :)
Also true. I certainly don't advocate being in uncertainty all the time. That would be awful! But, perhaps, more than one is inclined to... which generally is not at all!
What a wonderful reflection and series of advice! I feel as if I've gained some courage from reading this. Thank you, Vienda!
If I may ask though, how *did* you decide to move to where you did, sight unseen? Was it some sort of calling or intuition or really series of kismet? I find myself very much at a crossroads with my location, and yet I do not know where to start and as a person who always had everything planned out it feels absolutely terrifying to not know (about the unknowing even!).
Honestly, I lean heavily on my intuition even if I’m not sure. I let life decide a lot for me by paying attention to where the signs and momentum are pointing to.
I think the biggest piece of here is developing the trust in my self and trust in my path to be able to take leaps of faith in new directions or places.
Vienda, your writing is beautiful and this so resonated with me. I understand the importance of leaning into uncertainty and trusting that space. I find it hard to know when to trust and when I'm just avoiding what might actually move the needle - when I could be experimenting to perhaps get some kind of clarity and when that might be filling the very space I need to find it! How do you navigate this?
Thank you Kristen. If you read the article at the bottom of this one titled ‘not yet’ it might offer some insight. But essentially the answer lives in your desires. If you are trying to move the needle forward and you’re not actually excited about the action you’re taking, it most likely means you need to pull back and allow yourself to take space. If momentum and action are moving through you with ease, you can continue to follow that. The difference is in whether you are trying to control or not. Control is never going to serve you.
I’m sitting in my kitchen right now, sipping hot chocolate before starting work in about half an hour, and I’m so glad I took the time to read your piece this morning. About a year ago, I made a big decision, and looking back I can see that my main motivation was a longing for certainty. Which is completely human, isn’t it? But I also feel that it’s not reason enough — that’s why I’m considering a different path now, one that feels less certain. But certainty is an illusion anyway, isn’t it? Reading your words reminded me of that, and once more I feel deeply inspired by the way you live your life.
your story feels so familiar and while I can’t say that I don’t miss feeling the comfort of certainty I do forget the aliveness and wholeness that comes from trusting the void. thank you for sharing your beautiful words.
"[…] The stable, predictable career paths of our parents and grandparents that promised safety and security are dissolving. The world now demands agility, responsiveness, and creativity. It’s an exciting opportunity. […] The cost is that it requires a willingness to linger in the discomfort of uncertainty, sometimes for long stretches of time."
Another proficiency that must be learnt — another "cost" — for those who grew up in earlier times is the ability to *unlearn* skills that have become unnecessary.
This ability to forget is not an easy one for a lot of people to embrace, including me.
You make such a strong point Patrick. It’s true and certainly not easy. I feel like “crowding out” the old skills or ways with new ones might be the easiest solution. So it’s less about forgetting but filling the space with so much new fun exciting goodness that it becomes insignificant.
An elegant solution!
(I was also tempted to add that living with uncertainty does increase our cortisol titration but I didn't want to be overly negative when you had made such a good point. Perhaps a good compromise would be to retreat into routine, occasionally, to recharge and refresh ourselves, lest we burn out. :)
Also true. I certainly don't advocate being in uncertainty all the time. That would be awful! But, perhaps, more than one is inclined to... which generally is not at all!
What a wonderful reflection and series of advice! I feel as if I've gained some courage from reading this. Thank you, Vienda!
If I may ask though, how *did* you decide to move to where you did, sight unseen? Was it some sort of calling or intuition or really series of kismet? I find myself very much at a crossroads with my location, and yet I do not know where to start and as a person who always had everything planned out it feels absolutely terrifying to not know (about the unknowing even!).
Thank you Mary, and great question.
Honestly, I lean heavily on my intuition even if I’m not sure. I let life decide a lot for me by paying attention to where the signs and momentum are pointing to.
I think the biggest piece of here is developing the trust in my self and trust in my path to be able to take leaps of faith in new directions or places.
Vienda, your writing is beautiful and this so resonated with me. I understand the importance of leaning into uncertainty and trusting that space. I find it hard to know when to trust and when I'm just avoiding what might actually move the needle - when I could be experimenting to perhaps get some kind of clarity and when that might be filling the very space I need to find it! How do you navigate this?
Thank you Kristen. If you read the article at the bottom of this one titled ‘not yet’ it might offer some insight. But essentially the answer lives in your desires. If you are trying to move the needle forward and you’re not actually excited about the action you’re taking, it most likely means you need to pull back and allow yourself to take space. If momentum and action are moving through you with ease, you can continue to follow that. The difference is in whether you are trying to control or not. Control is never going to serve you.