closer to home

I could never imagine, 10 years ago, this is where I would end up.

There are strictly three days every year when England turns into a tropical island. An occasional heatwave whirls with the ever-present humidity and Brits turn into bewildered pink shrimp with sweat moustaches. Today is one of those days.

I am sitting in a cafe called Botanique, narrowly hipster enough to pull the cool Hove crowd and chill enough to work in undistracted. An iced latte is sweating in the heat to the right of me. Further right sits my French sister-friend, Lola, tapping away at her keys, answering to her corporate publishing boss.

Summer has finally arrived here. I thought I would skip the worst of the weather here by escaping to Africa for two months. My return was welcomed by four months of rain and cold, which has made me question what exactly I am doing here. Again.

It deeply frustrates me that I am affected by the lack of sunshine so strongly. I blame the fact that I have spent most of my life shaded by palm fronds melting in the heat of tropical places.

As my friend Camille points out, you cannot change who you are, you can only embrace it. And lay down your life in alignment with that the best you can.

Yesterday she sent me a set of questions to answer.

Is it that…

• you don’t want to settle somewhere?

• ⁠that you don’t feel like you’ve found the right place to do that?

• ⁠you don’t know what you’re willing to compromise?

• ⁠or is it something else?

I do want to settle. I have not found the right place yet. I am willing to compromise. And… I want access to it all: culture, nature, heat, love, community, beauty, ease, inspirational environments and people, as well as opportunities to continue evolving in my chosen work path and career.

I've tasted it before, you know? That feeling.

It's like a half-remembered dream — vivid — just out of reach. Sometimes I wonder if I've lost the map to that place. There's this nagging fear in my gut that maybe it's vanished altogether. Perhaps I've changed too much. Or the world has spun on its axis, leaving that spot behind. By the goddesses, I hope not.

Human beings are compelled to create to uncover the secrets of ourselves.

My life is precisely that.

An abstract piece of art. Ripening into itself. A spinning whirling confusing uncertainty where everything feels like it’s falling apart while concurrently reorganising itself in a new way.

Edged on both sides by this feeling, summer solstice came and went last week, and with it rose a new perspective.

While the urge to respond is strong, there’s something else here. A compelling sense to not push ahead but instead remove everything that stands in the way of life’s unfolding.

By not doing — instead by creating the space for allowing — the new way will be revealed. This time is not linear. It is intuitive. The answers will come out of nowhere.

I have been purging clothes, equipment, commitments and expectations like crazy. And grieving.

Grieving the year I thought this would be but has not, yet. Grieving the choices that made the last few years so challenging. So many emails and notes were received in response to my last article assuring me that I am not alone in many of these feelings.

You reminded me that it’s not our fault that we live in an ecosystem driven by greed. It is not our fault that we live in a world driven by corporations that are claiming all knowledge and wisdom to reproduce into marketing to sell to us.

It is, however, our responsibility to stop being complicit in the system.

A good place to start is here: Closer To Home. Voices of Hope In A Time of Crises. A 35-minute film calling for a new economy, delivered by those who have committed their lives to working for systemic change.

I have been an activist for change in the world since the beginning.

Call me a dreamer, but I have this wild vision of all of us getting back to basics. Into a life that's more in tune with, well, everything. A world where we're not just existing, but really living. Connected. Aware. Alive. Sensitive. Responsive. Present.

An immense piece of my work in the world has been to carve out my path as I figure this out for myself. I don’t have the answers. But I am curious and brave and willing to figure them out. I teach what I learn as I go.

The way that I see it, every moment offers me an opportunity to realign my choices, opinions and behaviours over and over again, as I grow and mature to create a life that is authentic and aligned with truth and love. It means that so many attempts at getting it right, miss. Success lives in surrendering to the solutions that present themselves as I stumble, fall and get up again.

We can self-excavate indefinitely. But eventually, you have to decide.

Ok. This is who I am… What do I do about it?

That’s where I am at.

A decade ago I started working online to create financial security that aligned with my values and my lifestyle. What started as a simple private practice mentoring clients 1:1, blossomed into a range of digital courses, programs and ideas.

Today, there exist four key projects in my body of work.

— My ongoing private practice.

— An extension of which is The Mentor Training where I teach up-and-coming coaches, mentors, healers and holistic therapists how to enter this space with confidence in their work. Enrolments open again for 10 days on August 5th. Please reply to this email if you’d like to be added to the waitlist.

— Her Way: A group mentoring platform where I teach ways to dispel the ideas that keep us small from my lived experiences through the lens of psychology, spirituality and self-responsibility.

— And Plannher, a timeless and undated planner-and-journal-in-one made for intuitive women to inspire clarity, trust, harmony, creativity and spiritual connection to self while setting meaningful and realistic goals, into your months, weeks, and days.

I could never imagine, 10 years ago, this is where I would end up. I am extremely proud of myself and deeply grateful and humbled. Hundreds of visible and invisible helping hands have made it possible for me.

If you’ve made it this far, well done! There’s a reward coming! I promise.

I need your help.

I have eight questions I’d love you to answer for me. In return, to say thank you for your precious time, you will go in the running to win a Crossroads Mentoring session with me, valued at £150.

It’s easy. Press reply and answer the following eight questions in the body of an email and I’ll add you to the list. I’ll draw the winner on Monday the 8th of July (in just over a week) and contact you directly.

1. Which of the four options I offer are you most interested in? (1:1 private mentoring, group mentoring programs, The Mentor Training, or Plannher) and why?

2. What specific goals or challenges are you personally navigating that you would love support with?

3. What format do you prefer? Live video calls, pre-recorded classes and lessons to do in your own time, in-person sessions or groups, other…?

4. What level of support do you expect within 1:1 or group programs?

5. How important is community support to you in your personal growth journey?

6. Are there any specific topics or areas you'd like to see covered in my writing, programs and offerings?

7. How do you envision integrating the things you take away from the writing and teachings I offer into your life or perspective?

8. Is there anything else you’d like to share or that you think I should know?

Thank you so much, in advance.