So many lines struck me from this piece, but the sense it leaves me with is that we are so steeped in patriarchy, for the most part we are unaware of its existence. I agree wholeheartedly that being self-resourced is the key to being free. Thank you for this.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights Amy. I agree: there’s a whole piece of patriarchy being so deeply entrenched into all of us, a lot of the time we don’t even notice unless we are specifically attuned to paying attention to the ways it weaves itself into our days and worlds. And I think that’s a clue: how can we pay more attention and choose new ways of operating in response. (Once we a well resourced and feel safe, firstly ofc.)
Phwoooaaarr. Firstly, my friend, this piece of writing and your storytelling here is lit AF. Secondly, I’m so sorry you had this encounter and yet it’s one do many of us can relate to. You’ve reminded me of a similar experience I had in my early 20’s when woofing in the south of France. Thirdly, I celebrate your courage in writing so openly about this experience and your self-honouring and fierce feminine protection of YOU. It is inspiring. X
Thank you thank you thank you. It's been an enlightening experience which has given me so much food for thoguth and insoirationdespite being rather undesirable. Ultimately, while not what I wnated, clearly I needed this to awaken to new possibilities and opportunities.
Oh my gosh what an intense couple of weeks. Thank you for sharing this and articulating, not only what it’s like to be around that patriarchal energy (especially when they aren’t getting what they want from us) but also what it’s like to be a free woman….free of their gaze or approval. I really felt every word and even the motion of the sea as I read. I’m glad that you and Danger are away from that matrix. 💗🪷
What a beautiful, honest and pure post about what sounds like a horrific experience. I have so much respect of the way you’ve held yourself through it and now communicate it in such clear and tender words. Just. Amazing. 💗
Lieke, Thank you for taking the time to reach out and connect.
What an experience! I learned a lot… and also, am so grateful for the measure of growth and inner conviction I have developed over recent years that allowed me to navigate this situation with as much grace, self-respect and boundaries as I did.
I’ve been on the edge of my seat waiting for this! What an unexpected adventure you had - but what a tale to tell! I envy you such a tale. I am very relieved you have moved onto happier, less perilous adventures though!
Phew, I am so so so grateful to be on the other side of this experience. Wow... Lessons were learned, growth was made. Thank you so much for your love and support.
Wow, Vienda. What a story and what an adventure! Thank you for sharing so openly, so honestly, so really, so rawly. You sharing your story helps me feel seen and reassures me that I am not crazy when I react the way I do on encountering patriarchy in the wild... As you say, if we women don't open our mouths to speak up and ask for what we want and, more importantly, against what we don't want, we are only perpetuating the patriarchy under whose yoke all suffer...yes...it takes courage and can be risky but what is the alternative? Subjugation and shame?
Thank you for reminding us of the pain patriarchy causes everyone and that there is an alternative...
And now… let’s find a way to help these men by validating their feelings and offering them an alternative approach to moving through the world. One that is healing for us all. 🙌🏽💫
Wie, loves. What an adventure. Thankyou for sharing with us. I am in awe of your ‘whole woman’ Self. It has made me reflect on all the ways in which I operate under the external and internal patriarchy. Thankyou xx
Wow — yes, what a journey, I learned SO MUCH!!! And it inspires me even more to educate women to be WHOLE in themselves because when we are, no man will be able to get away with this. It's the women still allowing and perpetuating interrnalised misogyny and patriachary that are allowing this behaviour and patterns to continue repeating.
Yes but she also says she was there to learn to sail from the man and trade him English language lessons in return. If he was clingy and gross, her car and her should have not done the catamaran!
But why would you even go on a trip with such a man that you feel deeply you have no desire for? plus, hes older. I felt this from the beginning, from the way he was presenting himself as a winner in life. Such an empty shell.
woah girl! no judgement please as you don't know the full nuance of the story. I did my due diligence prior to the trip where we agreed that he would teach me to sail which is what I wnated to learn and he needed a crew member for certain crossings (sailing laws) plus I would teach him english. I took a risk, and it didn't work out the way I had hoped.
So many lines struck me from this piece, but the sense it leaves me with is that we are so steeped in patriarchy, for the most part we are unaware of its existence. I agree wholeheartedly that being self-resourced is the key to being free. Thank you for this.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights Amy. I agree: there’s a whole piece of patriarchy being so deeply entrenched into all of us, a lot of the time we don’t even notice unless we are specifically attuned to paying attention to the ways it weaves itself into our days and worlds. And I think that’s a clue: how can we pay more attention and choose new ways of operating in response. (Once we a well resourced and feel safe, firstly ofc.)
Unfortunately an experience that many women have endured in our own way. Kudos to you breaking generational patterns. 💓
Phwoooaaarr. Firstly, my friend, this piece of writing and your storytelling here is lit AF. Secondly, I’m so sorry you had this encounter and yet it’s one do many of us can relate to. You’ve reminded me of a similar experience I had in my early 20’s when woofing in the south of France. Thirdly, I celebrate your courage in writing so openly about this experience and your self-honouring and fierce feminine protection of YOU. It is inspiring. X
Thank you thank you thank you. It's been an enlightening experience which has given me so much food for thoguth and insoirationdespite being rather undesirable. Ultimately, while not what I wnated, clearly I needed this to awaken to new possibilities and opportunities.
Oh my gosh what an intense couple of weeks. Thank you for sharing this and articulating, not only what it’s like to be around that patriarchal energy (especially when they aren’t getting what they want from us) but also what it’s like to be a free woman….free of their gaze or approval. I really felt every word and even the motion of the sea as I read. I’m glad that you and Danger are away from that matrix. 💗🪷
What an interesting experience and wonderfully told. Honestly, I’d like to hear about this from your cat’s perspective too. 😁
haha — you’re not the first person to have suggested this. Danger needs his own Substack! I’d subscribe for sure. 😹
Very beautiful and raw writing, loved reading about your journey, internally and externally both around patriarchy 💚
Thank you so much for reading and your sweet kind words. They mean a lot to me Harneek. ✨
What a beautiful, honest and pure post about what sounds like a horrific experience. I have so much respect of the way you’ve held yourself through it and now communicate it in such clear and tender words. Just. Amazing. 💗
Lieke, Thank you for taking the time to reach out and connect.
What an experience! I learned a lot… and also, am so grateful for the measure of growth and inner conviction I have developed over recent years that allowed me to navigate this situation with as much grace, self-respect and boundaries as I did.
I appreciate your love and support.
I’ve been on the edge of my seat waiting for this! What an unexpected adventure you had - but what a tale to tell! I envy you such a tale. I am very relieved you have moved onto happier, less perilous adventures though!
Phew, I am so so so grateful to be on the other side of this experience. Wow... Lessons were learned, growth was made. Thank you so much for your love and support.
So brave 💖🌹✨
Wow, Vienda. What a story and what an adventure! Thank you for sharing so openly, so honestly, so really, so rawly. You sharing your story helps me feel seen and reassures me that I am not crazy when I react the way I do on encountering patriarchy in the wild... As you say, if we women don't open our mouths to speak up and ask for what we want and, more importantly, against what we don't want, we are only perpetuating the patriarchy under whose yoke all suffer...yes...it takes courage and can be risky but what is the alternative? Subjugation and shame?
Thank you for reminding us of the pain patriarchy causes everyone and that there is an alternative...
And now… let’s find a way to help these men by validating their feelings and offering them an alternative approach to moving through the world. One that is healing for us all. 🙌🏽💫
Thoughtful, sharp, raw writing -- look forward to reading the next, and the next. x
Thank you for reading, your solidarity, and incredibly generous and kind words. They mean the world to me, especially coming from you. x
Wie, loves. What an adventure. Thankyou for sharing with us. I am in awe of your ‘whole woman’ Self. It has made me reflect on all the ways in which I operate under the external and internal patriarchy. Thankyou xx
Wow — yes, what a journey, I learned SO MUCH!!! And it inspires me even more to educate women to be WHOLE in themselves because when we are, no man will be able to get away with this. It's the women still allowing and perpetuating interrnalised misogyny and patriachary that are allowing this behaviour and patterns to continue repeating.
Couldn’t get past assessing the quality of people and normies, all together too arrogant and cringy for me.
Why was she on the boat? So she wouldn’t be separated from her cat?
Yes but she also says she was there to learn to sail from the man and trade him English language lessons in return. If he was clingy and gross, her car and her should have not done the catamaran!
But why would you even go on a trip with such a man that you feel deeply you have no desire for? plus, hes older. I felt this from the beginning, from the way he was presenting himself as a winner in life. Such an empty shell.
woah girl! no judgement please as you don't know the full nuance of the story. I did my due diligence prior to the trip where we agreed that he would teach me to sail which is what I wnated to learn and he needed a crew member for certain crossings (sailing laws) plus I would teach him english. I took a risk, and it didn't work out the way I had hoped.
More in the story about this would have been interesting!!