Boy this hits me right in the heart. Haven’t talked to my mother for some years. Certain abuses. A lot of the same dishes you were served. A certain refusal to change or acknowledge behavior. You told my story as well as yours.
Roman... I feel you! Choosing to distance yourself from your mother is incredibly difficult. I understand the weight of that decision, especially when it comes from a place of self-protection against abuse and unchanging behavior. Thank you for sharing this piece of your journey with me. In our shared stories, we remind each other that we're not alone in these complex, often painful experiences. Sending you strength, healing, and so much compassion as you continue on your path.
This is so beautifully, graciously and wisely written. You can sense the seep work you have done to be able to write how you have. As someone married to a beautiful loving man who made the difficult decision to create distance between himself and his not very loving father, I respect so much children's right and strength to be able to do this. ,It is far from easy and you well know. Even more so, as the stepmother of three incredible teenagers who grapple with the same issues with their own mother who they have seen once in almost five years, I am so grateful to have the words you have written to reflect on as I know they capture what all three of my beautiful step children feel but is so hard to concretise into language. So much love and strength to you my darling friend.
Your message just hit me right in the feels! Thank you so much for your kind words - they mean the world coming from you. 🥹 I'm in awe of the journey you're on with your family. Your hubby's decision to create distance from his dad, and your step-kids' situation with their mum - that's heavy stuff. It's amazing how you're navigating it all with such grace and understanding. It warms my heart to know my words might help your step-kids in some way. These parent-child relationships are so complex, aren't they? If my experience can offer even a tiny bit of comfort or clarity for them, that's everything. You're doing such important work, Liz. Supporting your family through these challenges - that's real love in action.
Sending you and your beautiful blended family all the love and strength.
Thanks for sharing this, Vienda. I became a mom earlier this year (and I was NOT a person who dreamed of being a mom; choosing to become pregnant and have a child was a long and complicated journey for me!) and I’m working on remothering myself and healing my relationship to motherhood as I mother my daughter. It’s comforting and inspiring to know other souls are also on the path ❤️
Your words touch my heart deeply. Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your journey with me. Becoming a mother is a profound transformation, isn't it? Especially when it wasn't always a clear path for you. I'm in awe of the courage it takes to embark on this adventure, particularly when it wasn't a lifelong dream.
The work you're doing - remothering yourself while mothering your daughter - is so important and so beautiful. It's like you're nurturing two souls at once, weaving healing through generations. What a gift you're giving both yourself and your little one.
Know that you're not alone on this path. There are so many of us out here, working to heal our relationships with motherhood, whether we're mothers ourselves or not. Your journey inspires me and reminds me of the power we have to rewrite our stories.
Thank you for being part of this community and for sharing your heart. Your courage ripples out and touches us all.
Thank you so much, Vienda. It’s really beautiful to hear from you. I’m one of those people (one of many, I’d imagine! ❤️) who’s been following along your journey for quite a while now. Wishing you so much love
Just wanted to say Nikki, that the gift you are giving your daughter will change her life! No matter how big or small! I am always so grateful when I see people going through the healing journey of dismantling all the conditioning that binds us so tightly!
This. I came to the same realization with my brother and I felt like the weight of the world had been removed from my shoulders once I made the decision to cut contact and communication. Thank you for sharing this Vienda
Thank you for saying your story Laur. Choosing to close a family connection is one of the hardest decisions so I celebrate you for choosing your well being over having to compromise and compensate for someone else.
Ooohhh, I can so deeply relate to your story! As I am reading my head was shaking at everything you mentioned. My journey is similar and I have very basic superficial relationship with my mother. 2019 was when everything for me changed when I set the intention to release the chains that generational trauma has on me. Slowly but surely I have set fierce but incredibly difficult boundaries and have made peace with the fact that she might never be able to acknowledge and apologise for things. I haven't seen her in 4 years and I have also no desire to subject myself to her in person.
The judgement I feel around this does ebb and flow. But what I can say is the peace I feel having made the decision to cut ties in a way that feels good to me still feels good no matter how much I sometimes feel judged or judge myself. Such a hard convo I don't feel we as society talk on enough.
I truly deeply resonate with every word you write here Ingrid. Thank you for sharing your story to vulnerably. It offer me a small peace of healing and peace.
Oh, wow. What a bittersweet experience to find your post. Everything you wrote resonates so deeply with me and my own experience with my mother. It's been 5.5 years since I chose self-preservation over a continued relationship with her. The feelings you expressed are some of the exact same I have felt during this time. It's beautiful to connect through your honest words and bittersweet to hear of another daughter having that experience. Much love.
Thank you for sharing a little glimpse of your story and for your solidarity Vivian. It takes incredible strength, courage and self responsibility to individuate from our caretakers even when the circumstances are less than desirable. Well done for choosing yourself and your wellbeing over and over again. (Because let’s face it, it’s not a once and done decision but one we revisit in our minds over and over again).
Living with someone with mental health issues is SO HARD but I hope we can all use these challenges to become more whole, more compassionate and kinder to ourselves and each other. All whilst knowing what we are available for and holding ourselves accountable to honouring our needs and boundaries. I hope and wish that for you C.J.
Boy this hits me right in the heart. Haven’t talked to my mother for some years. Certain abuses. A lot of the same dishes you were served. A certain refusal to change or acknowledge behavior. You told my story as well as yours.
Roman... I feel you! Choosing to distance yourself from your mother is incredibly difficult. I understand the weight of that decision, especially when it comes from a place of self-protection against abuse and unchanging behavior. Thank you for sharing this piece of your journey with me. In our shared stories, we remind each other that we're not alone in these complex, often painful experiences. Sending you strength, healing, and so much compassion as you continue on your path.
Thank you, Vienda. That means a lot.
This is so beautifully, graciously and wisely written. You can sense the seep work you have done to be able to write how you have. As someone married to a beautiful loving man who made the difficult decision to create distance between himself and his not very loving father, I respect so much children's right and strength to be able to do this. ,It is far from easy and you well know. Even more so, as the stepmother of three incredible teenagers who grapple with the same issues with their own mother who they have seen once in almost five years, I am so grateful to have the words you have written to reflect on as I know they capture what all three of my beautiful step children feel but is so hard to concretise into language. So much love and strength to you my darling friend.
Your message just hit me right in the feels! Thank you so much for your kind words - they mean the world coming from you. 🥹 I'm in awe of the journey you're on with your family. Your hubby's decision to create distance from his dad, and your step-kids' situation with their mum - that's heavy stuff. It's amazing how you're navigating it all with such grace and understanding. It warms my heart to know my words might help your step-kids in some way. These parent-child relationships are so complex, aren't they? If my experience can offer even a tiny bit of comfort or clarity for them, that's everything. You're doing such important work, Liz. Supporting your family through these challenges - that's real love in action.
Sending you and your beautiful blended family all the love and strength.
Thanks for sharing this, Vienda. I became a mom earlier this year (and I was NOT a person who dreamed of being a mom; choosing to become pregnant and have a child was a long and complicated journey for me!) and I’m working on remothering myself and healing my relationship to motherhood as I mother my daughter. It’s comforting and inspiring to know other souls are also on the path ❤️
Your words touch my heart deeply. Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your journey with me. Becoming a mother is a profound transformation, isn't it? Especially when it wasn't always a clear path for you. I'm in awe of the courage it takes to embark on this adventure, particularly when it wasn't a lifelong dream.
The work you're doing - remothering yourself while mothering your daughter - is so important and so beautiful. It's like you're nurturing two souls at once, weaving healing through generations. What a gift you're giving both yourself and your little one.
Know that you're not alone on this path. There are so many of us out here, working to heal our relationships with motherhood, whether we're mothers ourselves or not. Your journey inspires me and reminds me of the power we have to rewrite our stories.
Thank you for being part of this community and for sharing your heart. Your courage ripples out and touches us all.
Thank you so much, Vienda. It’s really beautiful to hear from you. I’m one of those people (one of many, I’d imagine! ❤️) who’s been following along your journey for quite a while now. Wishing you so much love
♥️♥️♥️
Just wanted to say Nikki, that the gift you are giving your daughter will change her life! No matter how big or small! I am always so grateful when I see people going through the healing journey of dismantling all the conditioning that binds us so tightly!
Thanks so much, Ingrid! That means a lot 😊
This. I came to the same realization with my brother and I felt like the weight of the world had been removed from my shoulders once I made the decision to cut contact and communication. Thank you for sharing this Vienda
Thank you for saying your story Laur. Choosing to close a family connection is one of the hardest decisions so I celebrate you for choosing your well being over having to compromise and compensate for someone else.
Ooohhh, I can so deeply relate to your story! As I am reading my head was shaking at everything you mentioned. My journey is similar and I have very basic superficial relationship with my mother. 2019 was when everything for me changed when I set the intention to release the chains that generational trauma has on me. Slowly but surely I have set fierce but incredibly difficult boundaries and have made peace with the fact that she might never be able to acknowledge and apologise for things. I haven't seen her in 4 years and I have also no desire to subject myself to her in person.
The judgement I feel around this does ebb and flow. But what I can say is the peace I feel having made the decision to cut ties in a way that feels good to me still feels good no matter how much I sometimes feel judged or judge myself. Such a hard convo I don't feel we as society talk on enough.
Thank you for sharing Vienda ✨️
I truly deeply resonate with every word you write here Ingrid. Thank you for sharing your story to vulnerably. It offer me a small peace of healing and peace.
Oh, wow. What a bittersweet experience to find your post. Everything you wrote resonates so deeply with me and my own experience with my mother. It's been 5.5 years since I chose self-preservation over a continued relationship with her. The feelings you expressed are some of the exact same I have felt during this time. It's beautiful to connect through your honest words and bittersweet to hear of another daughter having that experience. Much love.
Thank you for sharing a little glimpse of your story and for your solidarity Vivian. It takes incredible strength, courage and self responsibility to individuate from our caretakers even when the circumstances are less than desirable. Well done for choosing yourself and your wellbeing over and over again. (Because let’s face it, it’s not a once and done decision but one we revisit in our minds over and over again).
Living with someone with mental health issues is SO HARD but I hope we can all use these challenges to become more whole, more compassionate and kinder to ourselves and each other. All whilst knowing what we are available for and holding ourselves accountable to honouring our needs and boundaries. I hope and wish that for you C.J.