what we are is love wanting to experience itself

In this journey of love we find purpose and meaning in our lives. We become active participants in the grand tapestry of existence, weaving threads of love into the fabric of reality.

There is a thick layer of mist rolling out over the field outside my wood cabin window. Far across the field, I glimpse the working dairy that the milk in my tea beside the bed I am propped up in comes from. I have just woken up and the first rays of morning sunlight are gently pressing themselves into view. There are four thick, soft pillows behind my back holding me in a bedded cocoon that I sit in alone.

The man that I am travelling with is not here. Last night he went to a men’s ceremony at a country estate nearby and has spent the night there. He is devout in his readiness to take responsibility for his humanness. He does the work as he finds himself presented with it.

There is a message on my phone sent at 4:30 a.m. that reads ‘I love you.’

It is 9°C outside. We noted the equinox this past week. A day of equal parts light and dark, before we plunge into the shadowier part of the year in the northern hemisphere.

Winter. A season I have yet to fully embrace and befriend.

After a reckless and tempestuous summer, where I threw myself at everything and anything that could spark shards of joy into the despair I felt after too long a season of downhearted sadness and grief, I am moving into a new space.

It feels… hopeful.